Denial of the Heart
by Shining Peridot Moon
Summary: InuYasha saves his brothers human ward, Rin but at a terrible price. In desperation, he confides in deepest, darkest secrets to the young girl so resembling Kagome.
1. The Hanyou

Name: Denial of the Heart

Status: 1 shot

Pairings: none.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

Genre's: Family, tragedy, hurt/comfort, tragedy… tragedy

Note: I am not, nor ever will be, a yoai, yuri, or incest fan.

* * *

InuYasha saves his brothers human ward, Rin; but at a terrible price. In desperation, he confides in deepest, darkest secrets to the young girl so resembling his Kagome, who resembles Kikyo...

* * *

The half-demon clutched at his aching side, not even bothering to acknowledge the small human that was clinging to his hitoe, muttering his brothers name.

"Lord Sesshomaru…."

He knew that it would only be a matter of time before he collapsed, then another matter of time before his _dearest brother _got there to save a human. He snorted and bit back a bitter laugh.

What a hypocrite.

After all those times his _dearest elder brother_ had told him to hate humans, to despise their weakness and hate his human half; Sesshomaru goes and adopts a young mortal girl as his pup and ward.

What a fuckin hypocrite.

"Rin, was that your name?" He asked, his voice hoarse to his own canine ears, slightly drooping on top of his silver head. The girl nodded her attention now on said ears and her bemused gaze to his eyes.

"Your eyes are like Lord Sesshomaru's, Lord InuYasha," then she sheepishly looked away ", I guess it's to be expected, you are brothers after all…"

InuYasha chuckled, not paying any mind to the blood that dribbled down his chin. "Want to know something, kid?" He asked, at her nod, he sighed. "I envy you." At her curious gaze, he finished his thought "You have things I've always wanted."

"Like what?" Rin asked, looking up at the half-demon with questioning eyes. "I will share with you, if I can!" She announced.

InuYasha chuckled again, before breaking into a serious fit of coughs, he heard Rin's exclamation, and waved away her attempts to help.

"Keh, I kind of wish you could share it…" InuYasha whispered wistfully. "You have my elder brothers love…"

"Huh?"

"I remember the first time I met him," InuYasha said sardonically ", he was like an angel sent down to rescue me from the hellish life I was stuck with…" He coughed up more blood.

Rin understood, Lord Sesshomaru had been her angel, and still was…

"…to stick me in another hellish life…" InuYasha said ", he gave me protection, but I had to find my own food, I had to find my own shelter, I never got to touch his tail like you have, kid…he never let me hold his hand when I was little, like you get to, kid…"

What? Rin was awed, how Lord Sesshomaru could be so cruel, it had to be a misunderstanding! She didn't understand! What…this…Lord InuYasha had to be lying….but…

"He loves you, cares for you, went as far to adopt you as his pup…" InuYasha continued, bitterness ringing from every word "…and you're a human, a complete stranger…two things he detests…"

InuYasha coughed, and Rin just finally became aware of the warm thick substance covering her fingers. Blood.

"Lord InuYasha, you're hurt!" She exclaimed.

InuYasha knew he didn't have too much time left.

"…yet, he hated me, detested me, and tried to kill me…although I'm his brother. He hated me for being half of what you are…for being half-human…" InuYasha finished; he released Rin and kneeled over, coughing up yet more blood.

"Lord InuYasha?" Her small voice piped in his ears, her worried brown orbs looking at him innocently, surprise evident and a hint of worry and desperation when she saw his wound. "Please don't die! You saved me!"

The wound which was slowing killing the half-dog stretched from his left hip to his right shoulder, across the chest…and deep. He wiped the blood away from the side of his mouth.

"Kid. Can you do me a favor…can you tell Kagome that I love her and ask her to lay Kikyou to rest?" InuYasha asked, his vision beginning to get blurry, his limbs weighing like lead…"And Shippo that he was the little brother I never had…Sango and Miroku to live a happy life…" His voice cracked "…tell them I love them more than my own life…" he turned his head "…oh yeah, and to Sesshomaru…could ya tell him I'm sorry for being such a huge disappointment to him?"

"No! Tell them yourself, I don't want another family member to die!" Rin cried.

"What?"

"You're Lord Sesshomaru's younger brother, you saved me, and you're like family!" Rin cried ", Lord Sesshomaru surely doesn't hate you…please don't die."

How naïve the kid was.

"Kid…please tell them…" He couldn't see, breathing was difficult, his head was spinning…."Please, Rin…." He begged.

"I will…" Rin sniffled. "But please don't die!"

InuYasha's cocky smirk appeared, his breathing stilled.

Rin let out a wail.

InuYasha was no more.

* * *

_A/N: Gaaah! Don't kill me!_

_I might make this a two-shot, depends on the reviews and I'm a sucker for happy endings U…_

**_ Coming attractions:_**

**Chapter 4 of Yokoshima**

**Kagome's been kidnapped by a demon, and InuYasha goes to rescue her; meanwhile, the gang runs into Byakuya! But he doesn't want to fight; and informs them that Kagome will die by the end of the day if InuYasha doesn't discover some new power of the Tessaiga's?**

Chapter 5 of Yokoshima

It's the night of the new moon, and InuYasha, not wanting his brother to think less of him of him than he already does, goes for a walk when he runs across ad demon; with a shard of the jewel. How does this youkai relate to Naraku? Will the gang make it in time? Hold on InuYasha!

_A Crease of Time_

_Set before Wind Waker and after Twilight Princess. Link, the best friend of Princess Zelda; after an earth-shattering series of events, if left to pick up the broken pieces of himself; while preparing to become the next hero! With the help of a fallen goddess, a Kokori, and a nymph; can the new hero regain Hyrule's glory?_

**The Exsphere**

**Lloyd and Colette have began to collect exspheres, even though some aren't too happy about it. That's when they learn of this one Exsphere called 'Martel' and in a shocking glance of events, they suddenly have to reawaken the seals!**

_**I Love You, I Love You Not**_

_**After crossing the final line with Akane's patience, Ranma tries seeing if he can make her forgive him.**_

_Chapter 6 of Yokoshima_

_Kagome returns to her time to find that Mrs. Yumigiui is planning to suspend her! Can Kagome raise her grades in time?_


	2. The Daiyoukai

Name: Denial of the Heart

Status: 2 shot (I'm such a sucker for happy endings)

Pairings: none.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

Genre's: Family, tragedy, hurt/comfort, tragedy… tragedy

Prepare for a teensy bit of OOC

Note: I am not, nor ever will be, a yoai, yuri, or incest fan. This is only, and strictly only, brotherly fluff and brotherly love! Kawaii! X3

InuYasha saves his brothers human ward, Rin; but at a terrible price. In desperation, he confides in deepest, darkest secrets to the young girl so resembling his Kagome.

* * *

That scent.

Blood?

Lots of it, smelled like InuYasha and…Rin.

A set of amber eyes widened in realization. Had InuYasha dropped Tessaiga and transformed? And then ran across Rin? But Rin was supposed to have stayed at the camp with Jaken and Ah-Un…unless that pathetic toad let her run loose like he always did…

Making a mental note to beat the imp to a bloody pulp, the grand Daiyoukai stalked down the beaten path, his pace increasing ever so slightly.

If a hair on Rin's head had been harmed…there'd be hell to pay.

His thoughts briefly turned to Tessaiga and he snorted, he no longer had any need for it. Tessaiga suppressed InuYasha's youki and kept it under control so that the half-demon could live. Without it meaning to, Sesshomaru's thoughts turned to when he witnessed InuYasha's transformation; would InuYasha…

He heard a cry of pain throughout the forest…Rin?

Instantaneously, he picked up his pace and began running, worry racing through his heart (not that he'd acknowledge that) and his eyes narrowed to slits. If Rin was hurt...The Daiyoukai mentally berated himself for such thoughts, if his pup was hurt… He began to slow down when a tumble of voices reached his ears.

Concealing himself for the moment, Sesshomaru glanced out over the brush, concealing his gasp of surprise. InuYasha was holding Rin to his chest, fending off demons and swearing under his breath. But the smell of InuYasha's blood cloaked his senses and he saw in something akin to surprise a rather large wound on his brothers side.

"Lord Sesshomaru…."

Rin was calling for him. Sesshomaru almost let his partially parental instincts take over and almost allowed himself to be seen, but held back. He was curious how his brother would interact with the young girl he had saved without a second thought, although she was his, Sesshomaru's, companion.

"Rin, was that your name?" InuYasha asked. Sesshomaru noted that his brothers' voice was rather hoarse. He also noticed that Rin had glanced up, her mystified eyes catching the hanyou's own.

"Your eyes are like Lord Sesshomaru's, Lord InuYasha," his ward announced in wonder, and Sesshomaru mentally smiled, his pup was sure respectful to even the ruffian InuYasha. "I guess it's to be expected, you are brothers after all…"

Sesshomaru turned his eyes back to InuYasha, and was surprised faintly when InuYasha laughed, a trail of blood making its way down from the corner of his mouth and off his chin.

InuYasha, laughing?

"Want to know something, kid?" InuYasha asked, and Sesshomaru saw Rin nod and heard his little brothers sigh. "I envy you." Rin gave him a curious look, as did Sesshomaru. He'd never known his brother to be envious. "You have things I've always wanted."

Now Sesshomaru was really inquisitive. InuYasha had Tessaiga and acceptance from their mutual father what more could the hanyou want?

"Like what?" His pup asked; her large brown eyes hopeful "I will share with you, if I can!" She announced and ever so briefly, the Daiyoukai felt the smallest hint of pride.

Sesshomaru had been so focused on his little girl, that when he heard the chuckle and the serious fit of coughs, he instantaneously turned his eyes to his little brother and watched as Rin tried to help and InuYasha feebly signaled her attempts away.

"Keh, I kind of wish you could share it…" InuYasha whispered mournfully. "You have my elder brothers love…"

"Huh?"

Sesshomaru blinked. Did InuYasha mean him? What did the young hanyou mean by that, it actually confused the Daiyoukai; InuYasha had chopped off his left arm, okay, so what if he'd beat him up over a sword? And they had nearly killed each other several times, was his brother going crazy from blood loss?

"I remember the first time I met him," InuYasha whispered scathingly ", he was like an angel sent down to rescue me from the hellish life I was stuck with…" Sesshomaru noticed he coughed up more blood, why hadn't he stopped coughing? Was the bleeding internal?

Damn pup better not get himself killed.

"…to stick me in another hellish life…" InuYasha continued ", he gave me protection, but I had to find my own food, I had to find my own shelter, I never got to touch his tail like you have, kid…he never let me hold his hand when I was little, like you get to, kid…"

The Daiyoukai's eyes widened, he was frankly surprised InuYasha remembered all that. And still was hurting over all of it…could it be…that that was reason InuYasha had such anger and hurt towards him?

"He loves you, cares for you, went as far to adopt you as his pup…" InuYasha sustained, incessant resentment pounding in every word"…and you're a human, a complete stranger…two things he detests…"

Sesshomaru understood now, and a frown marred his features. InuYasha was right; he did detest humans and strangers. InuYasha suddenly coughed again and Sesshomaru noticed that Rin had suddenly realized that the hanyou's blood was cloaking him and her hands.

"Lord InuYasha, you're hurt!" Rin exclaimed in horror.

"…yet, he hated me, detested me, and tried to kill me…although I'm his brother. He hated me for being half of what you are…for being half-human…" InuYasha completed, and he released Rin; then bent over, hacking up blood.

Sesshomaru understood now; he cared and protected Rin even though she was completely human and had been a complete stranger; but he had hated InuYasha for being only half a human although he was his blood brother.

But he hadn't understood human weaknesses back then. He hadn't understood how the human body and mind worked…

"_Aniki!"_

"_Aniki, help!"_

"_Aniki, why?"_

"_Aniki…"_

"_What do you want, Aniki?"_

"_I HATE YOU!"_

"_What do you think, __**brother**__? Would that just eat your guts out?"_

"_This time I'll rip the bowels from your belly!"_

"_Good-bye…__**brother**__!!"_

InuYasha's love and respect for him had decreased drastically, and the Daiyoukai felt three stinging emotions he knew he could do completely without. Guilt, regret, and sorrow; dear kami he hated those stupid, weak, human emotions; he always had.

"Lord InuYasha?" Rin said quietly to InuYasha, and suddenly, Sesshomaru felt unable to move. "Please don't die!" Rin cried, and the Daiyoukai too, looked at InuYasha's wound, a weird feeling in his chest, a tightness he was starting to detest. "You saved me!"

Sesshomaru wanted nothing more than this sudden guilt trip he was experiencing to end. He didn't like this, the killing perfection was never wrong; he after all, was perfection. He hated the feeling he was experiencing as he stood by, unable to do anything. That's when just a few memories clouded his vision…

---

"_Aniki!" Large amber eyes gazed up at him ", thank you!"_

"_Don't get in the way."_

"_Okay."_

---

"_Aniki, help!" A barely seven year old InuYasha screamed as a group of demons prepared to devour him when a whip of light sliced through one of them completely._

"_Stay out of trouble."_

"_Okay…"_

_---_

"_Why, Aniki?" InuYasha asked, this time about eight, sporting a large bruise across his cheek and tears welling up in his eyes._

_---_

_A ten year old InuYasha proudly held out his first kill, a nice sized deer, waiting to be praised, but disappointed when Sesshomaru just turned away. "Aniki…"_

_---_

"_What do you want, aniki?" A thirteen year old InuYasha asked; hurt and despair clouding his eyes as all Sesshomaru did was look condescendingly down on his human form. _

"_Pathetic." _

_---_

"_I HATE YOU!" InuYasha yelled, this time about fifteen, anger in his eyes. "Is it because mother was human? Is it because I'm not a Daiyoukai like you and father? Huh?" InuYasha glared at the non-responsive form of his brother ", then I'll become a full demon, then I'd love to see you try to beat me up, BASTARD!"_

_---_

"_What do you think, __**brother?" **__InuYasha asked, looking smugly at the Tessaiga on the pedestal before them in their fathers' grave. "Would that just eat your guts out?"_

"_You'll never succeed." Sesshomaru replied monotonously. _

"_Hehe, all a sudden," InuYasha smirked, grabbing Tessaiga's handle "…I think I want this blade!"_

_---_

"_This time," InuYasha growled with a sudden threat ", I'll rip the bowels from your belly."_

_---_

"_Goodbye…__**brother**__!!" InuYasha roared, and with a successful slash with the Tessaiga, sent the Daiyoukai flying…_

_---_

"Kid. Can you do me a favor…" InuYasha coughed ",can you tell Kagome that I love her and ask her to lay Kikyou to rest?" Kagome and Kikyou…Kikyou was the one who sealed him to the tree and Kagome was the one who had released him. "And Shippo that he was the little brother I never had…" Shippo was the fox…little brother InuYasha never had? "Sango and Miroku to live a happy life…" InuYasha's voice cracked "… tell them I love them more than my own life…oh yeah, and to Sesshomaru…" the Daiyoukai's eyes widened. "…could ya tell him I'm sorry for being such a huge disappointment to him?"

Disappointment…

"No! Tell them yourself, I don't want another family member to die!" Rin wailed.

Family…

"What?"

"You're Lord Sesshomaru's younger brother, you saved me, and you're like family!" Rin cried ", Lord Sesshomaru surely doesn't hate you…please don't die."

Younger brother…no hate…family…die?

"Kid…please tell them…" InuYasha rasped. "Please, Rin…." He begged.

"I will…" Rin wept "But please don't die!"

InuYasha's cocky smirk appeared, his breathing stilled.

_No…_

Rin let out a wail.

_No…_

The smell of death cloaked Sesshomaru's senses and his heart began to pound in his chest. It wasn't supposed to happen like this…InuYasha wasn't supposed to…die… This wasn't supposed to happen!

Suddenly, everything the Daiyoukai had denied to others and towards himself came back in horror. He…this…no… all those times he had attacked InuYasha, all those times they had crossed blades, he had been trying to prove to himself he didn't care about his brother anymore. But when it came to the fatal blow; he couldn't ever do it…

He still loved his little brother; No matter how much he denied familial attachment… it was always there…

His mask was cracking.

Emerging from the bushes, the Daiyoukai ambled past Rin's sobbing form and looked down at InuYasha's still body, cloaked in the reek of death; he had never felt so much regret, guilt or sorrow as he did at that moment.

For once his younger brother actually looked peaceful, not yelling or screaming like he did when they had crossed blades in the Daiyoukai's efforts to try and futilely prove to himself that the young hanyou meant nothing to him. InuYasha's normally irritated expression was gone; replaced by an utter look of serenity.

A stab of…grief… had wormed its way into Sesshomaru's heart and he clenched his fist as he realized another implication.

His mask wasn't just cracking, it was breaking.

He couldn't stand this any longer.

Reaching down, he slowly drew out the Tenseiga, his eyes focused sorely on his brothers' corpse. When Tenseiga had been completely unsheathed, he poured his will into the fang of heaven and waited for a second until the messengers of the underworld appeared.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" He didn't even hear his pup's question.

He narrowed his eyes, and with a sweep of the grand Tenseiga, had sliced the grisly messengers from hell. He didn't hear Rin's gasp, but instead re-sheathed Tenseiga and bent down on one knee before clumsily maneuvering InuYasha into his lap. Waiting for the breath of life that signified Tenseiga had done her job.

He heard the heartbeat first.

InuYasha rapidly began to gasp in lungfuls of air before spinning onto his stomach rather violently and empting his lungs of blood that had been stuck in them and then collapsing in his slightly weakened state.

Suddenly, the young hanyou's eyebrows twitched, and slowly began to open, their clouded gaze landing on Sesshomaru. The half-demon blinked, as if trying to clear the blur from his eyes and closed them completely. He then opened his eyes again and looked at the Daiyoukai in surprise.

"Sessho…maru…?" He rasped weakly.

"Go…gomen…"Sesshomaru forced out.

"Huh?" InuYasha blinked, before letting the word his elder had said float around in his mind. Had Sesshomaru just…apologized…? Before the hanyou knew it, he had been crushed into a strong plate of amour and his eyes widened. Okay…was this some sort of weird dream? Sesshomaru was **hugging** him…

Swiftly, InuYasha figured it out, Sesshomaru must've heard his confession to the kid. Was he possibly feeling guilty? But come on, a show of affection that strong from the prick with a tree up his ass? What the hell was going on? First him apologizing and now this…?

"InuYasha…little brother," Sesshomaru growled, and InuYasha flinched ", don't ever do that again." Eh?

'_Wait…'_ InuYasha thought, his eyes widening _', I died, did Sesshomaru use Tenseiga…on…me?'_

"Don't ever do what again?" InuYasha replied sleepily; all that battling, dieing and being revived really takes allot out of a guy, ya know.

"Don't die."

He…cared?

"Okay…aniki…"

The denials of their hearts had disappeared.

* * *

The last three InuYasha quotes/memories were from InuYasha manga volume 2, yup, direct quotes! XD

Aniki- elder brother.

Daiyoukai- adult/powerful youkai.

A/N: Man, I'm such a sucker for brotherly fluff…and this was supposed to be a tragedy…I am sooo pathetic. And I really don't care if the ending sucked; its midnight and I have school tomorrow. Sayonara!

OoooOoooh!

Lookie at the little puple/blue button…

I wonder what would happen if you push it?

Right…

Down…

Here…

V


End file.
